Thursday, 2 March 2017

I am worthy and I am beautiful. // Why you DON'T believe you are beautiful.


I am worthy and I am beautiful


Be honest - don't you feel that that is something I'm not supposed to say?
So boldy stated and so certain?
How is it, that we can call ourselves the worst names and be our biggest bully, but can not truthfully call ourselves worthy?

For a long time, I have struggled to accept my worth. 
When someone called me beautiful, my first instinct was to deny it. To say 'No I'm not', smile a little awkwardly and be done with it. I couldn't really accept it. If I told you right now you were beautiful, would you really believe me? Probably not.


Let me tell you why: 


1. We have the wrong definition


How do you define worth?
When we think about how to define value, worth and beauty, we think first about what people have, don't we?
We think of their possessions, their apperance; whether they are thick or thin, tall or short, strong or weak, rich or poor...the list is endless.

Let me give you a controversial thought: What if it is not in the slightest about what we have, but who we are and who we were created to be? 
If it is our identity, rather than our efforts?

In life, we are taught to believe that it is all about accomplishment. About what we will achieve and what we will get: The relationship, the engagement, the big wedding, the house, the job, the kids and the bigger house.

Did you ever think that it might not be about what you are getting, but who you are and who you are becoming in the process?

Our beauty/career/relationship is not our destiny, living our identity is.

2. We let people give us our identity.


Say we believe it is not about what we do but who we are...WHO AM I?

I would say most people look for value in others. Whether that is in relationships, friendship in validation from guys/girls, in our parents or in society and in what it tells us is accepted and desired.

I wonder what happens to the picture we have of ourself, when we stop looking through the lenses of others and start looking through the objective of truth.

We are all made equal, and with that (I believe) beautiful and worthy. That is objective, something you can't deny even if you don't believe it to be true for you.

Let me dig a little deeper: Who would you be and what would you do, if you would believe you are beautiful and worthy?

It's kind of a scary thought, isn't it? The possibilities that we see arising when we unchain ourselves from the opinions of others? The person we may be able to become and the things we realise we didn't do because we allowed others to hold us back? 

"it's not who you are, that holds you back. It's who you think you're not"

3. We chase ideal over identity.

When we let people let people direct the way we look at ourselves or our path, what we strive for gets influenced.

Our look on beauty and worth, our ideal of success and happiness, all starts to follow someone else’s ideal.

That is why, to discover your true identity there must be a moment of clarity.
A moment in which you discover that who you are is never who others think you are, but who you were called to be.

In that moment, we can set ourselves free, no longer chasing an ideal but an identity.

And then begins a process. One you must fight for and in which you continuously must remind yourself: Identity>Ideal.


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